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Many developmental theorists now feel that men continue to change, psychologically, during their adult life.  In a sense, men experience two or even three adulthoods.   The first extends from the end of puberty until the forties.  Than many men experience "the midlife crisis" or the "Corvette syndrome" or a psychological "male menopause".  This can become a very difficult period of transition for men and women which, if successfully resolved, leads into a man's second adulthood.  Among contemporary writers who discuss this transition is Jed Diamond in his book Male Menopause and Gail Sheehy who wrote Understanding Men's Passages.  These are excellent references for couples struggling with these changes. 

The first question is whether men have always been this way or whether this behavior has been precipitated by the profound changes in the roles of men and women which have occurred in the 20th century.  Another issue is that these changes in the relationships between men and women, which started around the time of the Second World War when women first moved into the work place in large numbers has undergone another profound change in the 1970s and 1980s as the roles of men and women in the workplace have been equalized.  No longer is the man the sole provider for this family or the provider who is assisted by his wife, but now they are joint providers and many American families are now experiencing the situation where the woman is the dominant provider.   The men and women who come from the generation of this last change are just entering their mid-forties now so there really have been no experience with the passage of these couples through their "midlife crisis".  This chapter will unfold in the next decade.

So what happens to men.  Some men experience a true biological menopause like women do.  This is called viropause or andropause and will be discussed in another article.  Most men however experience a developmental change in their psyche as they reach a point in their lives where the need to fulfill the traditional roles of achieving power, wealth, success, fame is resolved, either through success or failure or simply being tired.  While the relationships of early adulthood between the sexes has been traditionally one of separation and marked differences because the woman is tied up with her children and home and the man with work, things change and the roles of men and women often tend to converge and even cross over so that the role of the man and women are quite different in late adulthood.  Many men in their fifties develop a nurturing, artistic and expressive self while many women of the same age become more assertive, focused, and political.  Gail Sheehy refers to this as "the sexual diamond".  There is even some data coming from research in the neurosciences which suggest that the right side of the brain (which regulates logic, orderly thinking and cognitive type skills) is larger than the left side of the brain (which regulates feelings, sensitivity, and artistic qualities) in young men but as the man ages, the sizes become equal.  On the other hand, in women, the two sides are equal in young adulthood but then the right side increases with aging.  Of course this data is very preliminary.

What precipitates the male midlife crisis?  In the simplest terms, a man begins to feel that there is something else in life other than where he is.  Men either feel they have progressed as far as they can with whatever their life script is or a crisis is precipitated by a sudden change which makes a man feel obsolete, vulnerable, unsure or not competent.  Typical events can include:

bulletLoss or Downsizing of a Job
bulletSeparation and/or Divorce
bulletA Health Crisis
bulletDeath or Illness of a Peer or Family Member
bulletChildren Leaving Home
bulletDisplacement by a Younger Male
bulletBecoming a Grandparent
bulletExperiencing Erectile Failure Twice in a Row

The most typical response of the male to this is depression  which, in the male, is often expressed differently from  symptoms which are classically attributed to depression.  As a result, it is commonly not recognized. See the article on Depression in Men for a more thorough discussion about the differences between male and female depression.

Drs. Caroline Dott and Andrew Dott are professional lecturers and teachers with a special interest in the interactions between the biological and psychological basis of human behavior at midlife.   Among their lecture topics are female and male menopause, the hormonal basis of human behavior, and issues related to depression and anxiety.  They are available to travel and give seminars on the topics covered in this website both nationally and internationally.