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Conversations Between the Generations Caroline Dott, PhD, LCSW, Midlife Specialist, Professional Speaker How is it that, in American society with a relatively high standard of long-term living, we do not even think about the significance of creating an equally high standard for our last stage of life? Does it make sense that we plan how to spend quality time daily, monthly and yearly throughout our lifetime, yet when reaching the peak of life experience, knowledge and capabilities, suddenly we stop planning how to enjoy our lives to the fullest? Without a plan, we live in huge denial of the realities of our last stage of life. We fail our parents and ourselves if we do not “seize the reins” with love, creativity and energy to plan with them the most delightful late life stage possible. A seminar customized for its audience, “Conversations Between the Generations,” addresses every issue for which “baby boomers” need to create a late life plan for their parents and themselves. Sponsored by AgeLess, Inc. (www.agelessboomersandbeyond.com), a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization, its purpose is to provide professionals, caregivers and family members with specific information to help them plan a comfortable, comprehensive late stage of life for their loved ones and for themselves. This is one of many seminars and workshops promoted by AgeLess, the mission of which is to promote lifelong productivity and independence by providing resources that enhance the quality of life as we age. Our initiatives engage, educate and empower. One Late Life Journey In atypical story provides the motivation for the creation of this seminar. At my current age (64), my mother was a widow in excellent health living alone in the “old family home” in North Carolina. Having felt stressed in her 40’s and 50’s while raising us four children and helping to care for her aging parents 500 miles away, she decided to create a complete late life plan for herself with her widowed older sister. Motivated by the wish to avoid burdening any of us with her care while we worked and raised our families, as well as to take charge of the last life stage for her own peace of mind, she put her plan into place and informed each one of us. Her plan included a logical sequence of events beginning with selling the family home and moving back to her hometown in Tennessee. Working out a plan with a spiritually-oriented retirement community in Johnson City, TN, she lived comfortably in her new home with her sister for about 25 years. Living in Louisiana, North Carolina, Kentucky, and Georgia, each of us children visited her frequently, monitoring her self-care and health and sharing our observations with each other. When her sister died and my mother’s health began interrupting her independent lifestyle, we contracted for 24/7 home health care workers to care for her and provide companionship in her home. As dementia progressed in her early 90’s, our family moved her into the assisted living home connected to the retirement community. When her health declined, she entered the nursing wing of this caring community where she received around-the-clock care as we four siblings carried out her Advanced Directives and Living Will wishes until her death at age 95. Was it a perfect plan that flowed smoothly to the end? No, but my mother was truly a role model for us all by creating her own last stage of life, returning to her “roots” where she had friends and family, memories and a rich tapestry of activities that she enjoyed into old age. Unfortunately, her story is far from the usual. Boomers and beyond have yet to “get it” that they can, and must, address their last stage of life now with heartfelt and thoughtful awareness, attention to details and well-researched planning that results in clearly written directions for themselves and their loved ones who will carry them out. “Hands On” Seminar Helps Start the Conversation In the seminar, “Conversations Between the Generations,” we begin by fantasizing the most comfortable, beautiful, satisfying last stage of life possible, both for our parents and for ourselves. Yes, we too, will be there one day and deserve to plan well for ourselves. The powerful personal sharing of these fantasies opens the minds of participants to new possibilities for how we can create our last stage of living. This voluntary experiential exercise builds the foundation for the seminar content. In addition to discussing and practicing how to start this conversation with our siblings, spouses and parents, participants learn about all issues that family members need to address to create a comprehensive, practical plan for their parents and themselves. What options are available for living, for pleasurable and exciting activities, for outstanding medical and psychiatric care, for financial management, and for managing legal issues? Who will take which responsibility for researching and handling each of these vital care issues? How will family members handle their own relationship, communication and emotional issues to reduce stress on the whole family system? When, where and how will family members take charge of carrying out emotional closure with their parents and each other? What local and national resources are available to assist family members? As a “hands on” seminar, “Conversations” facilitates participants to answer these questions while creating their own unique, exciting plan for their parents and themselves to live the last stage of life with dignity, self-respect and comfort. The unique makeup of each seminar group generally elicits the family situations in which the majority of participants are involved. An extensive handout and rich group discussion guides participants to write their last stage Creative Life Plan. For further information or to book this seminar, please contact Caroline Dott, PhD, LCSW, CGP, the Facilitator, at 404 402-8176, or Thomas Boykin, President, Ageless, Inc., 678 428-4978. The following workshops/seminars are available to groups of eight or more: Conversations Between the Generations Transitions & Losses Energy: How to Get It and Keep It! Personal Energy: Preserve Your Precious Resource! A Creative Approach to Change The Healing Art of Being Wild and Wacky! Friendships As We Age Seasons of Life Retire or Retool! Learn more at www.agelessboomersandbeyond.com/programs.html Caroline Dott, PhD, LCSW, CGP Riverbend Ob-Gyn & Counseling PC 993-D Johnson Ferry Road NE Suite D-360 Atlanta, GA 30342 Office: 404 250-1350 Fax: 404 250 1359 |